Category Archives: travel

Wayne being in prison was an example of a down

Yes, I watched The Castle again last week with my antipodean friends in Kenya; and yes, it has been a week of ups & downs. Monday saw me out for another ride around the tea-fields & factory. As I was starting to get my bearings in the countryside a bit more, I was able to extend the loop to get a bit more of a work out. As I was making my way back to Brackenhurst (where Adrian & Carmen work) I somehow got a bit away from the tea-fields. As I found my way back, I was particularly pleased to be welcomed by a pack of dogs; I don’t think they were too happy to see me either – thankfully, I escaped with a slight scratch on my thigh (NZO Dobies are so fantastically bombproof), which later bruised up nicely, and no bites.

Somehow, that night I got convinced to tag along to an aerobics class in Limuru at a tiny little gym. Not having been to aerobics class before, a Kenyan one was sure to be an introduction – I think I went for the cultural experience & a good laugh. I think there were about seven of us in a tiny basement room sweating it out (I was soaked after ten minutes & I’m not sure how I survived an hour of it). Of course, they only have one tape & the old Aqua songs provided much amusement. But most of my amusement (& probably Carmen’s) came from my total lack of coordination when things got a little too complicated for my simple brain. Somehow winning a half-hearted sit-up challenge before the session started was not looking like such a great idea half way through the hour as we moved to the mats (it smelt decidedly funky on the ground – urgggh) & we proceeded to do a lot of sit-up-esque exercises. I had previously forgotten that I had muscles lying dormant around my stomach – I was reminded time & time again over the following two days. I sure hope I’m a little fitter after my Kenya trip – what with all the extra riding, the aerobics & eating less.

Tuesday I was off to the slums near the airport again with the volunteers. I spent a few hours at a small medical clinic, but it was a quiet day & they didn’t have a lot for me to do. For the first time in years, my hands were covered in lactose after I spent an hour or two packaging drugs from a bulk container. I think that afternoon Adrian & I went for another of our run/rides around the fields; after the exertions the day before, I was slow again up the hills – but enjoyed blasting down the hills of course. As this was the last night that Jeff & Christina (two of the great volunteers) were in town, most of the volunteers arranged transport in to Limuru for a night at the Beehive – a local bar. Once we at the ACTS house had organised ourselves, we finally made it for a few Tuskers. We weren’t sufficiently organised enough to have had dinner before we left, so had to wait for the cook to light the fire & cook what looked like most of the torso of an unspecified animal (never worked out if it was beef, sheep, goat or something else). Anyway, the Nyama Choma (roast meat) was very good, but very salty.

A great night out, even if we were home relatively early (some of us have to work – not me of course). Just been informed it was goat.

After another sleepless night (all the water before bed didn’t exactly help), we were off with the volunteers again to a feeding program. Thankfully, it was local & the drive was short – if somewhat circuitous due to the rain finally starting up & muddying up the dirt roads (apparently it is one of the rainy seasons at the moment – but the weather has been perfect up until this point; thankfully the rain is becoming a little more frequent). Hundreds of people had turned up for the dispersal of flour, grain, matches, fuel, salt, bottles, & other such things. I couldn’t believe how many people there were & how far some had walked; all very sobering really. I handed out salt all morning, so for the second day in a row I was covered in the product of uni summer jobs. That afternoon, we were back to Makeu – the school & boarding for about thirty disabled children that we had visited last week. It was life-skills lessons, so a couple of volunteers tried to teach the kids how to make beds, brush their teeth, clean the classroom & use the long drop properly (“In the hole!”); I’m such a horrible teacher, but thankfully Kimberly has endless enthusiasm & she did a great job while I defaulted to crowd control.

The much anticipated game of Ultimate Frisbee was on Wednesday night & that when my week got a lot worse. It was a fantastic game, exhausting, but a lot of fun & we were winning (there was not a lot experience – me included).

If it wasn’t such a great game, I may have been a little wiser & realised that my right shoulder clicking & popping was a really bad sign. My poor arms obviously aren’t strong enough & all the jumping & reaching (I think it was this rather than the throwing) was too much & I eventually dislocated my shoulder. It went back in once, but the last time I couldn’t get it back in & it frigging hurt. Thankfully there were a few nurses on hand & Carmen is an OT. None of the nurses were too keen to put it back in; but thankfully Carmen was up for it (with a bit of help from the trusty interweb thingy) & a bit of forced movement later we were both stoked to feel it pop right back in to place. My hero – thanks Carmen. Since then, it’s been pretty good – a few days immobilised in various slings, a little discomfort & with a bit more rest, I hope it never happens again (of course, that is not how such dislocations usually go).
Thursday was a bit of a write off with a gammy arm; but Carmen & I did take a couple of kids from Makeu to the doctor in Limuru. One had a horrible scar from a burn sustained in last year’s post-election violence on his upper arm & another had a horribly infected thumb. There wasn’t much to be done for the scar (I sure was fortunate to escape any permanent scarring from my little altercation with Melter 1); poor John screamed blue murder for ten minutes while all the pus was drained from is thumb (just as well Carmen had gone to get lunch, it was heartbreaking listening), hopefully the necrosis under his thumb nail isn’t too extensive. I wasn’t too displeased to have to miss dance aerobics that night.

Uganda & the Nile beckoned on Friday – Adrian had wonderfully organised ten of us to go up Friday night on the bus (arriving Saturday morning), relax at the camp Saturday & spend Sunday rafting down the river. At the last minute, Adrian had to fly to Kampala for work & unfortunately the bus ride was such an experience he is not likely to be forgiven for a while! I think Akamba must have dragged the last & worst bus in their fleet out for us to take the twelve hour trip through the night to Jinja. It didn’t start off too bad (except we had to retrace our steps through Nairobi traffic) & it was stinking hot in there. However, it quickly became apparent to quite a few of our group that the bus was infested with cockroaches & they were none pleased to have them crawling across their faces & all sorts of other places. I was lucky enough to have an empty seat next to me, but that was quickly filled when Carmen spied the possibility of sleeping against the window. Actually, here is a photo of one of the few times during the whole horrendous trip which Carmen is not actually sleep – just pretending. Being able to sleep while travelling would have been a real bonus – we had three blow outs & associated hour long stops to change tyres – one of the blow outs pushed the border crossing out to an hour and a half over sunrise. I had a week’s worth of Hamish & Andy podcasts to catch up on, so that helped pass the boredom a little. Needless to say, we were all happy to be off the roach-coach at nine on Saturday morning. The Adrift truck picked us up & we spent the rest of Saturday relaxing next to the Nile or next to the pool at the next-door resort.

On first impressions, Uganda is considerably nicer than Kenya – the roads were markedly better, the cars on the road are much nicer & it just looks a lot more orderly. Unfortunately, somewhere on Saturday afternoon I got quite sick & lost my appetite- that only really helped by lessening the blow of being unable to go rafting. That evening we watched the All Blacks beat England with the Nile right next to us – that was a little surreal. I was even quieter than normal that night, so it was with some relief to head off to bed well to early – the bunk room was like being in a submarine with the bunks seeming to be only a foot apart, it made getting in & out of bed difficult with only one good arm.

Five of the group decided to do the bungee on Sunday morning before they headed out rafting. I was keen to give it a go a few days prior, but wasn’t really up for all things considered.

Andree (also sitting out the rafting for medical reasons) & I lazed around the bar while everyone else hit the river. It was a great afternoon reading, chatting, eating & enjoying the view. Later in the afternoon a couple of hundred of the British Army descended on the camp after many weeks in the bush, so we made a hasty exit to meet the rafters at the take-out point thirty kilometres downstream. By all accounts it was a fantastic day & it was really frustrating to hear all the stories; on the upside the food was delicious.

Monday morning, Carmen & Adrian were flying back to Nairobi for work & considering the state of my digestive system & contemplating another hell bus ride, I joined them at 4 am in a taxi to the airport. I managed to get a ticket for the flight & it was very pleasant with great views of Lake Victoria (saw a good sunrise during the taxi ride too); just as well the plane was pretty empty, as the final podcast I had was side-splittingly funny & it would have been even more embarrassing. What is it with small airlines in third world countries leaving before the scheduled departure? Admittedly, this wasn’t as noticeable as Yeti Airlines in Nepal – but it was a little odd.

So home to catch up on sleep & washing; it turns out that the bus ride back was better by orders of magnitude, but I’m still not sure if I would have survived so well. So that was the end of great weekend had by everyone else – I quite enjoyed it, but it was frustrating & disappointing at the same time. But at least my arm hasn’t popped out again.

Masai Mara!

So for the fourth night in a row I have woken up at about 2.30 & this time I decided I couldn’t take any more of my mind going in circles with no hope of resolution & a rumbling stomach; after some toast, here I am doing something slightly productive.

I have spent the previous three days in the Masai Mara National Reserve (& on the four-five hour van ride to & from). The Mara is in south-west Kenya & borders Tanzania at the Serengeti (pretty much making it the top of the Serengeti) & Adrian had organised for me to tag along with four of the volunteers – a wonderful opportunity & not one to be passed up. The park is over 1500 square kilometres & is named for the Masai tribe that live there & the Mara river that flows it.

Hopefully this posting won’t have much text as normal & lots of photos. I am pleased at how a lot of the pictures turned out from my little Canon. Sure, it would be nice to have an SLR – but this camera was bought for one function only, to sit snugly on the shoulder strap of my Camelback while riding. Hopefully I can filch some good photos from the rest of the group sometime – but they all had compacts too.

We stayed at the smallest of the camps in the park (only thirty beds) & were extremely well looked after – there was only one other group there the first night & no-one other guests the second night. The food was fantastic & I have never stayed in such a flash tent – bath, shower, toilet.

We had to be escorted to our tents at night by a sentry carrying a spear as there was much wildlife wandering around at night – we saw a lot of buffalo tracks the first night & Lotte & Ansje (sp?) saw a couple of buffalo outside their tent before going to bed on Saturday. Enough of such details – while the camp was excellent, that was by no means the highlight of the weekend.

I went on four game drives over the weekend (three of the group opted out of Saturday afternoon – which turned out to be my favourite – after a six hour drive in the morning). It was all new on the first so we were very pleased to see hundreds of zebra (they are such comical looking animals with such vivid patterns; the funniest thing I saw all weekend was zebra lying on their side & then rolling over with all legs sticking up in the air to scratch their backs), impalas, wildebeest, buffalo (they do have such strange looking horns) & a few giraffes.

That night we saw (actually were right next to some of them) a pride of at least twelve lions (including glimpses of a very cute looking cub); we watched for quite a while – as it was near the end of the day, they were still lying around keeping out of the heat. On the way back to camp we saw a small herd of elephant – the only time we were to see an elephant calf. Elephant are especially cool to watch as they grab lots of foliage off the trees & eat it – I think this was the first time I have seen so many elephant still with their tusks, so that was neat (I think in Nepal & Thailand they had be detusked). So back for dinner we had seen three of the ‘Big-Five’ (apparently the five most difficult animals in Africa to hunt on foot), with just the rhinoceros & leopard to go.

Saturday morning we left the camp at six with a massive packed breakfast. I still couldn’t get over how many zebra there were – they all look so well fed, but I’m told they look quite round even if they don’t have much to eat. The Mara had been in drought for seven months previously & has only just started to get a bit of rain & green up a bit; consequently, the Masai have been running their stock further in to the park, which means reduced feed for the wild animals & therefore lower numbers. We added a cheetah resting on a bushy knoll to our list – it was gorgeous, if a little restful.

This took quite some time to find & in the meantime we had gotten the van stuck twice in mud – stuck enough for us to have to get out & push, the first time took quite a while to get out – I was glad that there were no animals around. We also a lion & lioness stalk a limping zebra for about fifteen minutes, that was neat to watch – incidentally, the zebra managed to get away.

We managed to find a good spot away from all the animals to get out & have a very large & very late breakfast, before heading off in search of the elusive rhino (apparently there only four to five hundred in the park & they are very hard to find).

Before long we had found another cheetah who was out for a bit of a stroll. No one seemed interested in a sprint against it & the herd of zebra close by were pretty unperturbed by its presence.

Returning for lunch, the rest of the group lounged by the pool while I tried to grab a nap in tent – but it was a bit warm – so when Yvonna & I headed out again at three-thirty I was still pretty tired. But I figured I wouldn’t be here again in a hurry so, I would just suck it up & enjoy it. Which was just as well, because although the drive started off pretty quiet looking for that elusive rhino – it ended in a flurry of fantastic sightings. First was this lion just dozing in the shade & here is a photo to prove that I was actually there (there is a lion there – I assure you).

Next we found a hippo sitting in a pond that looked like it had be made quarrying for roading materials – this was a great surprise as we had been told that hippos are mostly down by the river which would have required a whole day excursion, which we were not keen for.

After seeing a big herd of elephants in the distance, a couple of giraffe crossed the road right in front of us. I can look at giraffes for so long – I think I’ve really liked them since I was quite young – the patterns on their skin are so cool & they seem such unlikely animals.

Then what turned out to be my favourite sighting of the weekend – a leopard up the tree. We couldn’t get quite as close to it as some of the other animals (that is what I am telling myself is the reason why I only took one photo of it – & that isn’t even very good). But it was a delight to stare at through the binoculars as it lazed on what looked like some pretty precarious branches high up surveying the surrounding scrub (looking for dinner perhaps). I thought it had an extraordinarily long tail, & I now know why a leopard doesn’t changes its spots – they are quite incredible to start with & not worth risking I think. It was getting darker now, but we still managed to a cheetah & two more groups of lions. The last group (a male & two females) were a bit more active than most of the others we had seen & the two females had a bit of play fight that was entertaining. There was also a nice sunset way off across the plains (it got better than this, but it was hard to take a decent photo while bumping along the dirt tracks & road).

This is Edward – our Masai scout – in traditional garb, you can almost make out his ear lobe that (because it has a massive hole in it) he wears pulled over the top of his ear. You can’t quite see his traditional knife or traditional cell phone.

Sunday was off again early in hunt of that rhino. However, we never found it – that was a little disappointing, but I didn’t mind too much as I have seen one in the wild many years ago in Nepal (albeit briefly as someone yelled “Rhino!” on spotting it & it ran away). We saw quite a few big herds of giraffes (more than thirty in total) before heading back home. What a weekend – Joe (one of Adrian’s flatmates here) wasn’t kidding when he said the Mara was one of the best, if not the best, things he has seen in his life – it was incredible.

First few days in Kenya

I’ve been in Kenya for three days now & it’s been a reasonably relaxing few days, but with a few little things worth talking about. Also, if I do little spurts of story-telling, it won’t be as tedious (for both reader & writer) to read as one big narrative. A reasonable enough nine hour flight straight through to Nairobi – but I don’t particularly recommend Virgin Atlantic (they don’t stop talking over the PA, the check-in is a nightmare, the entertainment is not on-demand [so if you miss the start of the movies every two and a half hours, you have to wait another two and a half hours] & the food is poor – I think I’ve been spoiled by Air NZ). But we did land early & I was through buying a visa, collecting my luggage & convincing customs that my bike was two years old (& therefore of no interest to them & their duty) before Adrian could get to the airport. As it was nine-thirty on a Sunday morning, the traffic driving northeast through Nairobi was sparse – but still the typical crazy one expects from a big third world city.

We stopped off on the way home at quite a western cafe (WiFi if I wanted it) for breakfast & continued the catch up. Adrian has been in Kenya for about a year and a half & is working for an organisation that arranges volunteers to come over & do work on various projects around East Africa (very busy, but by all accounts better than selling automatic sliding doors to shops in Auckland). Thankfully, ACTS is based a bit out of the city & it wasn’t too long before we were at the house where Adrian lives with a workmate & a couple of guys who work for a similar organisation (GC) – the house also has accommodation for some of the volunteers. It’s a good arrangement with the few permanent tenants (ACTS & GC rent it) & a stream of other expats staying for a little while or longer. I haven’t quite worked out the history of the house, but it must be thirty or forty years old & I like to think maybe it was at the centre of a tea plantation. It’s quite a large house (I think the lounge is almost bigger than the flat where I am staying in London) & comes complete with a great staff – there’s always a guard at the gate (three at night), the maid comes in everyday (I’m not really used to my bed being made every day) & a gardener who has got the grounds in immaculate condition. It’s all a little strange & takes a while to get used to. It’s still quite odd that the internet here in Kenya is so much faster than what we had back in NZ.

After meeting a few housemates over (their) lunch at Brackenhurst (the nearby compound where the ACTS offices are), it was back to the house & I somehow got motivated to put my bike together. That afternoon Adrian took me on his running loop (I rode of course) that goes around Brackenhurst & through a lot of tea fields.

Embarrassingly, no sooner had we got out the gate & Adrian veered off around the corner on a dirt track & I followed around on the grass, I put my front wheel in a big unseen hole & went straight over the bars – only damage was to my pride & a bit of a bruise on my thigh. I had never seen tea fields up close & was surprised to see how well established the little bushes were – for some reason I though that tea plants would be ones that are replaced every season or so.

We were riding/running on dirt roads & tracks between the tea fields & it made for some good riding – unfortunately the hills quickly showed me up as being very hungry, tired, jet-lagged & most of all, quite out of shape.

The downhills were a blast though (but one did have to be mindful of people walking up the opposite way) & I worked out that the hundreds of speed bumps everywhere aren’t so bad on a bike – they are pretty horrendous in Adrian’s short wheel base Suzuki (it brings back a lot of memories – it was one of these that I learnt to drive in). Adrian has been introducing his housemates to Flight of the Conchords so a fair few episodes were watched that night before a rather long sleep for me.

I’ve had to run away to the cool inside (thick stone walls & floors do have their advantages) as it’s too hot sitting in the shade on the balcony. Monday was a pretty lazy day for me – nice sleep-in, sorted out my stuff a bit, watched the first half of NZ’s innings in the third ODI against Pakistan, went for another ride around the same loop (knocked twenty minutes off the time) & then went out for dinner to see Inglorious Basterds with Joe & Nick. The roads are little bit easier to handle in long wheel-based Prado.

I was up well too early on Tuesday, as Adrian’s work & house mate Carmen had organised for me to go in to a school in a slum in Nairobi with a couple of their volunteers. Jeff & Christina (from Montreal) had been to the school the previous week & in the meantime bought a whole lot of school supplies to give to the children & teachers. I wasn’t too sure where the slum was, but it turned out to be near the airport as the big jets were coming in to land over the corrugated iron shacks. We had a later than intended start after two flat tyres on the ACTS van, but even so the trip took three times as long through the traffic as it did on Sunday. Naturally, as we got further in to the slum the squalour increased & the roads deteriorated – it was all pretty horrendous & looking out of the van on the drive reminded me of Nepal (except the skin colour is darker & there is a lot more English around).

The head teacher was particularly pleased to have visitors & I was the only new visitor I was paraded through each class; upon our entrance all the students (the classes ranged from about four to eleven years old) would stand & then burst in to a welcome song, the students would introduce themselves in turn & then I would introduce myself.

It was all very cute (they do love to sing). After we had distributed all the gifts & there were an awful lot of speeches & singing & dancing the kids went back to their homes for however much lunch they could get. After lunch I somehow found myself alone in front of a blackboard trying to teach ten year olds how to convert from metres to kilometres and vice versa. As I always suspected, there is a good reason I’m not a teacher – it was just as well the content was pretty easy & they all seemed to know what there were doing. I slowly managed to get hold of writing on the blackboard & avoiding the potholes in the concrete floor without falling over. Hopefully that is the end of my teaching career, as interesting as it was.

Yesterday I finished the book that I had picked up the day previous. It was a well thumbed copy of Confessions of an Economic Hit Man, I’m not sure where I had heard of it before, but was pretty certain that I had. It gave a fascinating insight it why America is so disliked around the world. This guy’s job, in a nutshell, was to go to developing countries & provide very inflated & unsubstantiated economic forecasts of what their country could do with new infrastructure, convince them to borrow the money needed to develop the infrastructure from the World Bank or IMF or such-like, spend all the borrowed money on American firms to build the infrastructure & then when the forecasts didn’t prove quite right they are saddled with billions of dollars of debt & in America’s pocket when needed for oil, votes at the UN, military bases & so on. That’s my very quick summary, but it was a very interesting book.

Carmen is taking me to another project this afternoon, but I have no idea what….

A week in Paris

So I’m back from seven days in Paris, all the washing is done, I’ve spoken to the family back home, my hair is cut (much needed) & I’m almost over a twenty-four hour cold – time to sit down & try & remember all the wonderful things I saw & did in over the last week. It’s a bit hard to tell, as they are quite different, but Paris may just have knocked New York City off the top of my favourite city list. NYC is a lot more intense & has a lot more energy, on the contrary Paris is generally pretty relaxed & the whole place is just beautiful & there is so much history & culture (chockas!).

Anywho, a nice simple & quick trip to Paris Gare du Nord on Eurostar – sort of odd to think that one is underneath the English Channel for twenty-odd minutes. The change from English to French countryside after the stretch of darkness was immediately noticeable. The hostel I stayed at for the week was easy to find about four Metro stops north-east of the train station & right on a canal. I was still unpacking my gear when I strangely familiar face walked in to the room – the Te Puke connection strikes again! Alastair was two years behind me through primary school at Fairhaven (in Adele’s year) & I went through school with his older sister – needless to say I was quite surprised to see him in the same hostel room as me in Paris. He had just arrived from NZ & was off to play centre for a French rugby club somewhere out of Paris. After that excitement & a quick meal, it was off to see that most famous of Paris icons – the Eiffel Tower. Quite beautiful lit up at night it was & good to get a view of the city from the top – I was surprised at just how flat the place is. For some reason, I thought that the tower was grey & steel coloured; I was intrigued to find it is painted bronze. Quite an achievement for the late nineteenth century – especially when it was only three years from conception to completion.

Friday morning it was off to Invalides to check out Musee de l’ Armee (the Army Museum). This started off by visiting Napoleon’s tomb inside the impressive Dome Church. It’s quite a massive tomb in the basement directly under an impressive dome.

There were also the tombs of one of Napoleon’s brothers & some other notables. The bits of the musuem I could understand were quite interesting (thankfully the English translation was through most of the displays) – especially the display going from France’s defeat by Germany in 1871 through to the invasion of France at the end of World War II. It was nice to get a different take on the events of the first half of the twentieth century & also to learn a bit about of Free France Forces. My history got a good brush-up with the exhibit detailing of the military events around France’s first days as a republic until the monarchy came back after Napoleon’s exile. Being in Paris, the museum was housed in an impressive & large building – I’m not sure what was going on, but there was some event in the courtyard with a lot of parading military types & a military band playing. Upstairs in the attic of one wing of the building was an extensive collection of scale relief models of different towns & forts of France from 1668 to 1875 in the Musee des Plans-relief. It was a curious collection founded by Louis XIV to get an idea of what his troops were up to & where they were stationed – impressive in it vastness & detail.

After all that history I wanted to explore a little of the current city, so walked & Metro’d around a bit until I got to Montparnasse Tower – one of the few skyscrapers in Paris outside of La Defense business district (which is a fair way from the centre of the city & in Zone 3 of the Metro). The viewing platforms at 56 & 59 stories gave great views of the city on what was another typical (of the week) brilliantly sunny & warm autumn day. Unlike last night’s Eiffel Tower visit, I got a good appreciation of the city layout & just where such landmarks such as Notre Dame, the Pantheon, Arc de Triomphe, & the Louvre really were.

Somewhere in here I popped in to the Postal Museum, but that wasn’t too interesting as it was all in French & I had no idea what it was all about. Went down to the Louvre to check out the building & park close by, was there at sunset:

After a bit of an early morning stroll around the local area went to check out the Pantheon. Built by Louis XV in memory of Saint Genevieve in the later half of the eighteenth century it has spent alternate periods of its life as a house of Christian worship & secular use. It has been in secular use since the funeral of Victor Hugo in 1885 & holds the tombs of some of France’s most famous – Hugo, Dumas, Voltaire, Braille, the Curies (Marie being the first women entombed here). It’s another grand building & interestingly from its dome hangs Foucault’s pendulum. The pendulum was first installed in 1851 to prove the earth’s rotation.

A deceptively long walk down a slight hill & over half of the Seine & I was at Notre Dame – had a brief visit underneath the square in front of the cathedral to the crypt. It shows rooms & foundations of the city from the Medieval & Classical Ages. Due to the huge lines waiting to go in to & up the cathedral, I skipped Notre Dame & went to the other end of the small island to check out the Conciergerie & Sainte-Chapelle.

The Conciergerie started out as a palace many centuries ago, became a palace & a prison and when the royal family left it became more of a prison than a palace until it was eventually just a prison. It was used by the Revolutionary Tribunal & many dissidents were held & guillotined there – some of the more famous ‘residents’ include Marie-Antoinette & Robespierre.

Almost next door is Sainte-Chapelle built in the 1240s for the eventual Saint Louis to house the relics of the Passion. It’s a very grand Gothic chapel & I was intrigued by its relatively small footprint, in relation to its very tall walls. The walls, especially on the top of the two stories are filled with massive stained-glass windows – some of which have been recently restored.

Leaving the centre of the city I was off to the Musee des Arts et Metiers, which is a large museum of innovations & invention. I spent quite a bit of time in the exhibits at the start of the museum that concerned measuring the world & the industrialisation of process. Particularly neat were Lavosier’s laboratory (he worked out the chemical composition of water & is considered by many to be the father of modern chemistry) & the ironmaking, steelmaking & rolling mill models & very good history of the these processes. The blast furnace model was very good & it was good to learn that tuyere is a French word – it always seemed an unusual word to me, but it makes a bit more sense now that I think about it.

A quick whizz around the rest of the museum as it was close to closing time – more good exhibits & models of construction techniques through the ages, communication, energy, mechanics (I think my grandfather would have particularly enjoyed all the gears & machines in here) & transport. They even had the original ball from Focault’s Pendulum (the one swinging in the Pantheon is a replica). The Musee national d’art Modern’e was open late, so I took a look around. It is housed in a suitably modern building, & although it had some good pieces in it – I once again showed my general disinterest & lack of appreciation of modern ‘art’. Wonderful onion soup for dinner (big hunk of cheesy bread floating on the top) & a nicely tender & tasty stew as well.

I managed to get to Notre Dame before opening on Sunday morning & be in the second group up to the towers. It’s a bit of a dizzying climb up spiral staircases to sixty-nine metres – but the view is worth it. The towers and carving are pretty neat as well – as is the mammoth “Emmanuel” bell which has a mass of over 13000 kilograms! The panorama of Paris was spectacular – is funny how you don’t have to get very high in Paris to get a great view of all the old buildings & the monuments. Down from the towers, I popped in to the cathedral with hordes of tourist while Sunday morning mass was taking place – the congregation seated in the centre of the cathedral & the tourists wandering around the periphery. The air was heavy with overpowering frankincense – this is only really of interest to me & Trish as we recently finished watching the BBC series on the frankincense trail.

From here I made my way to the Musee d’Orsay – housed in a big old, but renovated, railway station; the station had been built for the 1900 Exhibition so is a work of art itself.

This gallery quickly became my favourite so far & still remains one of the best that I visited during my stay. It displays work from mid nineteenth century to the eve of the Great War & holds a lot of Impressionist, pre- & post-Impressionist, Naturalist and Academism works – not that I can really pretend to know much of the difference. Monet’s works were, as expected very good; I also enjoyed works by Signac & Detaille, and saw Whistler’s famous old woman sitting on a chair. This polar bear is for Uncle Geoff:

In a departure from all the galleries & fabulous buildings, my next port of call was Musee des Egouts de Paris – a museum of the Paris sewer system. It was of course the engineer in me prompting me to visit these dark & slightly whiffy tunnels under the city – only a slight unpleasant odour, much better than those unforgettable field-trips. Paris seems quite proud of their sewer system & I begun to see why. The 2100 km of tunnels not only transport wastewater (storm water & sewage seems to be mixed), but the tunnels are so large & go to so much of the city they also carry the potable & non-potable water supplies, phone cables, fibre optics & compressed air; the only don’t carry electricity & gas because of the fire risk. Geek that I am, I was of course fascinated by the small glimpse at this large network that has been around for over a century. There were all sorts of ingenious mechanical means that they had invented for clearing the bottom of the channels of silt & sand – this is a giant iron ball (slightly smaller than the cross section of the tunnel) that moves slowly down the sewer, of course backing up the flow behind it & the extra pressure displaces the sediment.

It was a pleasant walk along the Seine to the Maritime Museum past the Eiffel Tower again – these were the best looking bikes I saw all week. Admittedly, not all that practical; but compared to all the commuter bikes that are around – these were the closest to mountain-bikes I had seen for some time.

The Maritime Museum was not all that great – probably because it was mostly in French, unlike a lot of other museums which are tri-lingual at least, & also it had to compete with the British Maritime Museum which is excellent & I had been to only a week prior. There was this Imperial barge:

Off on the Metro to La Defense, I took the #1 Line to the end – these must be the newest trains on the Metro – they were noticeably faster, you didn’t have to release the doors manually (after the driver had unlocked them – you can’t just open the door on a moving carriage) & you could see right down the train from one end to the other – it’s really just one big carriage. While on the subject of the Metro – it was great. The trains were regular, quick, comfortable, there were no delays, the map & signage was easily understood (even though it was in French), you didn’t have to scan your ticket/card to get out & there were stations everywhere – Parisians are rightfully proud of it.

At La Defense I went up the Grande Arche, which is twenty years old & sits at the end of the “Historic Axis of Paris” – a straight line from the Louvre, through the Pyramide de Pei, the Arc du Carrousel, the Jardin des Tuileries, the Place de la Concorde, Champs Elysees, & the Arc de Triomphe up to Grande Arche. Really it is a hollow 110m cube, with the two side full of offices & the top floor a viewing deck & exhibition space. Yet another different, but good, view was to be had of Paris and pleasingly & surprisingly there was a computer museum at the top. It had some wonderful artefacts (it’s funny calling things only ten to twenty years old such, but that’s the speed of development) – right from punch card makers & readers, through one of those wonderful computers from the ’60s that fill an entire room, the vast range of PCs that started to proliferate through the ’80s & things that even I recognise from school in the ’90s (still didn’t see Carmen San Diego though). In a side room, there was also an exhibition of Macs from the last three decades – fascinating. I may be a nerd, but am not all that much of computer-geek – but it was still a very different museum to most I have seen & was excellent.

With it being so obvious from the top of the Grande Arche, the Arc de Triomphe was the next obvious place to visit. It may not have been as tall as some of the other towers, but it was all stairs to the top & the spiral sure went for a long way without interruption.

I managed to arrive at the right time to see the lighting of the flame for the Unknown Soldier of World War I – the small exhibit upstairs (I wasn’t expecting there to be so much room inside the structure) proved a little bit of a distraction before heading up the last few stairs to the roof & once again there was another vista of Paris before my eyes. Looking straight down the Champs Elysees,

It was easy to work out where I was going to wander next – all the way down to the Concorde (a gift from Egypt once upon a time).

Just as well it was all gradually downhill – it was a long way; I was surprised that most of the Champs Elysees was so built up, I was expecting it to be more open. Eventually it opened up to a small park near the bottom.

On Monday, I was keen to get away from the centre of the city, so went out to the end of 13 line (north of the city) to visit the Basilica Cathedral of Saint Denis (“there’s some lovely filth down here”), who was apparently martyred on this site around 250 AD. Parts of the current cathedral have been around since the fifth century & most of the kings & queens of France have been buried there since the sixth century. There are plenty of recumbent statues & all sorts of crypts – the remains of Louis XVI & Marie-Antoinette are here, moved there by Louis XVIII – the last king to be buried there in 1824.

Changing Metro lines a bit, I found myself climbing what must be the only hill in Paris. At the top was quite a touristy with a lot of outdoor cafes crowded around a small square & it was one of the only places I saw artists trying to convince people to sit for portraits & caricatures. I was up there to go the Salvador Dali Museum; it was quite small & I was surprised at how much I liked it. There were a lot of interesting paintings, sketches & sculptures, especially the melted clocks.

There is of course a big church (Sacre Coeur) on the top of the hill & on the steps in front there were plenty of street performers & spectators – & even a bride & groom (not an uncommon sight in various public places around the city).

From the bottom of this great park (with its own spectacular view of Paris) it was a bit of a walk back to the Metro & I walked to one more stop to see the Moulin Rouge – passing through a rather seedy looking stretch of road on the way. Took the obligatory photo & went back to the Concorde for, surprise, another museum. This one, the Musee de l’Orangerie is quite a lot smaller that some of the more famous museums & was chosen & arranged by Monet. The top floor is dedicated to two large rooms displaying Monet’s spectacular “Water-lillies”. Downstairs in the basement there are many more pieces; my particular favourites were Renoir & Derain.

More Metro-riding & I was at the Musee du Cinema – quite a small museum, but with a good audio-commentary explaining the development of the technology & art of cinema; the most notable thing on display (to me) was Norman Bates’ mother’s head, which was a gift from Hitchcock to the museum. By now I was quite weary & headed back home for another good meal & rest.

By now I was getting a bit exhausted from all the walking & excitement, so Tuesday started off with just a ride to a Metro stop one station away to one of the best science museums in the world – Cite des Science & de L’industrie. It is housed in a large, new building near the same canal that runs adjacent to the hostel, with a rather strange looking reflective sphere sitting in a vast lawn next a beached submarine.

The museum started off well with a very good exhibit about innovation & taking ideas to market, & there was also a very informative section on epidemics – which I strongly suspect was put together before swine flu raised its head & snorted rather loudly. But apart from that, the rest of the place was quite disappointing, partly due to the exhibits being rather old & tired & the English translation rather poor (for the record, the best translation at a museum was at Musee des Arts et Metiers – it was clear & without strange turns of phrase that took time to decipher). I was however pleased to have a poke around a submarine from the ’50s. It was, by today’s standards quite small, diesel powered, carried a crew of forty & an arsenal of eight torpedoes. A pleasant stroll in the sun along the canal for a short break at the hostel before heading off to the Picasso museum – which, it turned out, is closed for a couple of years for refurbishment. I did stumble across the Musee Carnavalet – I never worked out exactly what the theme of the museum was as there was little translation, but it did have a big section on the Revolution & was a maze of a place & over all quite large considering it was on what I thought was quite a small block. It was quite close to the Bastille, which I was quite keen to see, but there doesn’t seem to be much left of the famous prison. Due to my weary feet I spent an hour sitting down on a boat on a cruise up the Seine from the Eiffel Tower.

My last full day in Paris, Wednesday, I had planned a tour of the Opera House, some wine-tasting & then on to the Louvre. But in the end I couldn’t bring myself to leave Paris without visiting the famous palace at Versailles. So I was out with many others walking from the train station up towards the palace shortly before eleven. It was great to finally visit such a place with such an interesting history (Fifth-form History was of course where I first heard of Versailles – curiously, I did not see a single mention of the treaty that set such a disturbing & tragic ball rolling). The whole place was just exquisite & as happens in the occasional place, I walked around conscious that my mouth was half-open in amazement. No matter how many photos I put up here, I still don’t think I’d be able to convey the grandeur of the place; so I’ll stick to one of the chapel & one of the Hall of Mirrors.

Overall, there were huge paintings, sumptuous decorations & furnishings, marble columns; in some ways it was easy to get an inkling of perhaps why the monarchy was overthrown – just so opulent & completely over the top, quite incredible. After all the exhibits indoors to go around, it was time for a stroll around the gardens. If the palace was big, the gardens are just massive; actually, looking back at the palace from the gardens, the palace didn’t look as big & as impressive as I always thought it was from various photos – perhaps I was just not in the right place to get the best perspective. The beauty of the large gardens was that it was very easy to escape the crowds & find a little peace & quiet.

Still, there was a lot of walking to be done to get down to the comparatively small, but still very big, houses – Grand Trianon & Petit Tianon. The Grand Trianon was built for Louis XIV to be able to escape to the far end of the park at Versailles; it also had a wonderfully fragrant garden. It was all slightly uphill to get back the town to grab a late lunch & the train back to the Louvre.

Thankfully, Wednesday is one of the late nights at the Louvre so I had plenty of time to get around most of it. Once again, I was aware of walking around with my mouth open at times. It was hard to know whether to be more impressed by the building or the collections; with both being vast (to say the least), the shear size of the collection was staggering & is what the Louvre is most famous for, despite being a very large former palace. (As for the pyramid, it has great function – but looks out of place in the courtyard & I didn’t really like it.) The sculptures

& vast collections of Etruscan, Mesopotamian, Iranian, Egyptian & Greek artefacts was incredible (how does one collect so many items?).

And then there were the paintings; I’m a bit lost for words about them. After hearing occasionally that the Mona Lisa is a lot smaller than one expects, I was surprised to find she was a lot larger than I thought she would be. It was also pretty easy to get close to her (although I was surprised at how many Indians came up to me elsewhere in the museum asking for directions to the most famous of paintings); actually, there were masses of people around, but the place is so big it wasn’t a problem anywhere – I’m just glad I came to Paris at the end of September & not the height of the summer holidays.

After two incredible palaces in one day, my feet were aching a bit too much so I was happy to hop on the Metro again & head back out to the hostel & then out to grab a bite to eat (first time I remember being the only diner in a restaurant – it’s a little odd; I’m used to not having conversation when I’m dining, but to have no conversation around the whole restaurant is a little strange).

I was hoping for a nice sleep in on my last day as check-out was at ten & my train didn’t leave until mid-afternoon; but that was not to be – however, it was nice to have a chat to someone with a Kiwi accent over dinner & share travel stories. With a few hours to kill, I left my luggage at the hostel & headed in to town to check out a couple of buildings I had seen from a distance. Here is the Assemble Nationale, outside which a young woman tried to pull the “I just found this wedding band on the pavement, is it yours?” in broken English on me. As I was walking away from my photograph taking, she picked a massive wedding band off the pavement, asked me if it was mine, then tried to give it to me as it didn’t fit her (not surprising – it was huge) & then asked me for some money. That was strange enough, but as I was crossing the road & still thinking about what had just happened another guy came up & tried to pull the same trick – I just had to laugh & tell him there was another ring on the other side of the road if he wanted that too. A bit more walking around, stumbled across a lot more fancy-pants shops than I had seen, got back to the opera house & then had had enough & took off back to the hostel.

After another quick & uneventful trip back on the Eurostar (I did manage to read most of a very interesting book on Captain Bligh of the Bounty), I was back in London & on the Tube listening to the PA apologising for the delays going in to Aldgate – typical.